Dear. Prof. Mamdani

March 29, 2012 § Leave a comment

For starters, this may not be the way you want to be asked to put in your application for the post of VC of Makerere University; even more because the profile of this writer, and his works, read like the description of a brilliant whack-job. If that’s the case, my sincere apologies for that Professor, but I just have my own rough-edge way of doing the right thing. Of course I will be kicking myself in the butt if this ends up jeopardizing your silent moves, if any, to out-manoeuvre the unworthy professors presently slugging out in public for the top job at MAK. I swear I will step into the light, own up and plead with the powers that be that I was one that muddied up the waters for you.

Am mellowed by your distinguished academic trail. Now as someone who worships knowledge and thinks he is among the top echelon of the most enlightened in the banana republic, I usually don’t bow or acknowledge other’s academic feats that easy. Sometimes am wrong and sometimes am right and that’s the important thing. Makerere the way I look at it lacks a solid academic philosophy. It therefore baffles, alarms and annoys me that they dole out Doctorates of Philosophy in the first place! This is not surprising if one takes a critical look at the vast numbers of dons whose grey matter seem to be more excited by money and putting on airs! Dr. this … professor that … that sort of crap! I’ve walked the hallways of some the world’s top universities and am struck by how simple and down-to-earth those award winning and patent holding professors carry themselves. I particularly remember one who whose favourite wardrobe was denim and t-shirts … spoke as humbly as a street beggar yet decision makers sought a piece of his mind quite often!

Academics is not field one goes into if they want enrich themselves to the status of Lexus-driving elite. Rather it’s space for those whose minds simply won’t stop vibrating because of words such as: Why, How, What, When … As you can see, those musing have no direct relationship with a fat bank account. What’s worse, it also deprives one the opportunity to be wowed by the young puerile girls who straddle our university campuses. If in doubt, ask “Prof”. Barya, who unfortunately fell short, when he ended up taking one such hottie back for a tryst.

So last night, I got a eureka moment … out of the blue it the rammed into my head that PROF. MAHMOUD MAMDANI IS JUST THE PERFECT CANDIDATE THE JOB OF VC. I am still wondering why such an idea hasn’t come out yet in the public domain; well until now that is. You got all the qualifications … maybe the only questionable one would be your desire for the job actually. And if you say that’s the simple reason, I would be left scratching my head about why you came back to teach at MAK when Columbia and a host of other Ivy league colleagues have got the red carpet rolled out for you. Prof. you may not see it but you love this run down ivory tower. And that’s a beautiful coincidence because MAK needs you more. So wake tomorrow morning, brush your teeth and go to the powers that be and say you want to be MAK VC … you don’t even to carry your CV because you reputation precedes you. What’s more, no one is qualified enough to interview you … so if we are to be reasonable, MAK should spare tax-payers money and skip the interviews for VC, if there are any! I hope to see you whacking some solid academic philosophy back into Makerere … I wish you the best … don’t break my heart Prof.

Letter to Odonga Otto, MP Aruu County

March 20, 2012 § Leave a comment

Dear Odonga Otto,

I’ve been left immensely disappointed and bemused by your recent showboating. Impeach Museveni??? Are you dreaming that you are in a telenovela??? Did you just regain sanity of recent? Now just in case you are thinking am one of those yellow brigade lunatics, let me make it clear that I’ve never been a Museveni fan or NRM supporter. Actually am quite amused by that lot’s lack of solid positive ideology; I keep wondering how any self-respecting man or woman can join such a decrepit organization. But I guess am trying to philosophy a very simple thing because it is all the clear that NRM subscribership is motivated by money and other rewards.

Now getting back to you Mr. Otto; mind you am deliberately ignoring the word ‘honorable‘. So out of the blue you want to impeach Museveni for his 25 plus years of mismanaging Uganda. If you had made this move when you first joined Parliament, you bet I would be rooting for you. I find the timing of this grand-staging of yours quite dubious. Just a few weeks ago, Ugandans were seething with anger again, because you Mr. Otto, and your bunch decided it was all SO RIGHT to receive 100 million shillings from government coffers to buy yourselves LUXURY VEHICLES. At a time when teachers were beating pans and pregnant mothers were dying in our derelict hospitals and NODDING DISEASE WAS MAKING AN ENTRANCE AT YOUR DOORSTEP. You Mr. Otto, is said to have threatened aggression if the money was not given to you ASAP! MPs are among the top 1% of the best enumerated working Ugandans. Now given the horrific jams I see in Kampala every day, I get the feeling that even Ugandans who don’t rake in much money every month can afford to buy their own cars. How is it that someone who earns 15 million shillings a month needs tax payers to give them over 100 million to buy luxury SUVs??? Does it make sense to you Mr. Otto??? Does it???

Given the public outcry and the probably resulting guilt of conscience that you and your fellow MPs felt, is it thus unreasonable to ASSUME THAT THIS ‘PATRIOTIC’ MOVE TO IMPEACH M7 IS JUST A WELL ORCHESTRATED SHOWBOAT TO DEFLECT PUBLIC ATTENTION FROM YOUR RED-BABOON ASSES??? I think this is the real truth Mr. Otto!

For too long MPs has been a huge disappointment to Ugandans. I don’t have to mention the several times you’ve fallen short of the title of ‘Honorable’. But when you try to spin yourselves out of the dirt you MPs are feeding Ugandans, you add insult to injury. Stop assuming we are all dummies who can’t see through your gimmicks. So to end this, I urge you Mr. Otto to go and buy that SUV and drive it to Aruu County and hope nodding disease will halt in its tracks when you park that guzzler.

Aluta continua…

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